Rant 2: I Hate Them

Written, October 21, 2005

 

I'm not an irrational person. I understand that people make mistakes. But holy shit I have seen some dumb people. I mean abso-fucking-loutly stupid. I'm not even going to use the term retard, because it wouldn't quite justify how stupid people are. If you didn't know, I work as Tech support for an internet provider and whoa do I get idiots. I think they intentionally send me the dumbest people they can find. Speech impediments also piss me off, but that's something they can't help other than bring the computer down here so I can fix it. What I mean by stupid is when you don't know if your computer is a 95, 98, ME, or XP. That's stupid, REALLY fucking stupid is when I tell you to bring your tower so I can fix your computer, and you bring me your speakers. Yes, it has happened before. I actually once spent 30 minutes explaining what a goddamned keyboard was. That just made me lose all confidence in us surviving as a species. I mean the explanation literally ended with "Your left hand is probably touching it." Yeah, that just made my day.

But that's not all, to remind you I've only been working here less than a year. I think it hit a year in either June or July, I don't remember, I've lost so much brain matter through the phone to osmosis. I mean these people are so damned stupid that I have literally helped mentally retarded people easier. I know, un-fucking-believable. What's even better is when they call you up and argue with you. Bitch, are YOU getting paid because of your general computer knowledge? Nope, so shut the hell up, do as I say, and you can go back to sending stupid little emails to all of your friends in no time. Do you have any idea how many times people ask me to delete that shit out of their mailboxes? Don't send it. You arn't cute, you arn't funny, just annoying. Lots of that kind of shit even have viruses in them. So not only are you pissing everyone off, you are infecting their computers as well, nice job jackass, you'll have plenty of friends now.

I think it was my second month, I was walking out of the building and felt a drop of water in my ear. I looked up, it wasn't raining, the sky was clear. I wasn't under a tree, no one could of spit on me, so I touched the mystery water in my ear, examined my finger, oh great, I had fucking blood in my ears. The idiocy of everyone I had talked to that day literally made my ears bleed. I believe that was the day of the keyboard incident.

Then people get pissed off when they don't pay their bills and we cut them off. I mean, we're just doing it for fun. It's not like we have to eat and everything else, we just do it to piss you off. I also have access to everyone's computer, and I cause any and all problems with them. Next to my desk is a switch that I hit just before I leave for the day. It only turns off YOUR internet. How? It makes the phone cord jump out of the back of your computer. Brilliant, huh?

As a provider we offer several internet option. DSL, Wireless, Dial-up, which is the three legged Chihuahua of internet connections. It's slow, unreliable, it basically sucks. Not just ours, ALL dial-up blows. If you want a REAL connection get either Cable, DSL, or Wireless. "Broadband". When a customer says "Well I've been with you guy's dial up for 7 years!" That doesn't make me respect you any more. In fact, it makes me think lower of you. Dial up for 7 years? Are you stupid or something? There are VERY few exceptions to this. If you are old and just use email, dial up is fine. If you are unable to get ANY other connection, dialup will have to do. But it's not something I would brag about. You arn't exactly roaring down the information super highway at 23.6k. And 56k is just a pipe dream, you won't get that on dialup. 50k if you are LUCKY.

Something else that pisses me off is when people update dinosaurs. A computer that originally ran 95, instead of forking out the cash to buy a new one, they want to stick XP on the old one. No. That old computer is not going to have the resources to run XP at an acceptable rate. it will be slow, you will call and bitch, I will simply say "Told you so." As a rule of thumb, every two years, your computer is outdated. I'm not saying buy a new computer every two years, but this is something you should realize. And everyone should have an XP by now. It's been out for 5 years, you should have one. 95 is 10 years old. Don't be surprised when it dies on you. It will soon.

Yet another thing that pisses me off is when people let their computer go to ruin. I mean so damn much spyware that it won't open solitaire. Your first time, I understand. You didn't know what was happening. But I install a program on all of the computers that come in and explain how to use them. When those ones come in I get pissed off. The people are just too lazy to do anything.

Something else, don't keep illegal shit on your desktop. I mean fucking seriously. For protection of the innocent, I'm going to change this person's name to 'Ms. H." If you know a "Ms. H" it's not her. Unless She teaches computer science in Texas . Anyway, on her fucking desktop, Kiddy porn. Terrific. Well, being the concerned, spiteful person I am, I took a few screen shots of the properties and such proving what she had and that it was her computer. Sent it to the superintendent, nothing. She still works there, they didn't do anything. That's just fucking wrong. I mean the kids she was teaching were the same age as the porn her, her 60 year old husband, and her racist son were circle jerking to. I don't fucking know what's wrong with people. Aside from the obvious fetish with children she had, she swore up and down that her computer was clean when she brought it in. Heh, Bullshit. There were at least 7 different viruses, and contained more damn Trojans than a fucking wooden horse. She obviously doesn't know shit about computers, yet manages to "teach" a class. Not hard when you have a fucking book with the answers right infront of you huh? Well, how much the school system sucks is another rant for another day. The phone is ringing, I'd better get it so I can remind the moron on the other end to breath.